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Formerly ” Fatherly Advice” Newsletter
American Fathers Get a Bad Rap
by Glenn Sacks
The Truth Dispels the Misconceptions
Αmerican Fathers get a bad rap. They are unfairly stereotyped by critics left and right, male and female. At best the American father is portrayed as a second class parent. Worse still are the common images of fathers as deadbeats, philanderers, and abusers. Research however indicates that the overwhelming majority of American fathers are none of these.
Bad Rap # 1: Men often desert their families.
Truth: Actually, two thirds or more of all divorces involving couples with children are initiated by mothers, not fathers.
Bad Rap # 2: Many if not most, divorced and unwed fathers are “deadbeat dads.”
Truth: Studies show that the overwhelming majority of steadily employed divorced fathers pay their child support. According to U.S. Government Accounting Office (GAO) report, two-thirds of those fathers who do not pay their child support fail to do so because they are financially unable to do so. A figure verified by single mothers’ explanations of why their ex’s were not paying child support. Most “deadbeat dads” are either poor, unemployed, disabled, or in prison. Over all, 75% of the nearly $15 Billion due in childsupport annually in the U.S. is paid.
Bad Rap # 3: Men, But not women are often unfaithful to their spouses.
Truth: This popular misconception is belied by a large body of research including the 1990 Kinsey Institute of Sex Research Report, the work of psychologist Anthony Thompson, and licensed clinical social worker Paul Wulkan, and researchers such as Shirley Glass, Thomas Wright, Gilbert Nass, Roger Libby, and M.P. Fisher. This research estimates that for every five unfaithful husbands, there are four unfaithful wives.
Bad Rap # 4: Almost all domestic violence and murder of spouses and intimates are committed by men.
Truth: Domestic violence research overwhelmingly shows that women are just as likely as men to initiate and engage in domestic violence, and that only a small percentage of woman’s domestic violence is committed in self-defense. Studies show that women often compensate for their smaller size by their significantly greater use of weapons and the element of surprise.
Bad Rap # 5: Most child abuse is committed by abusive fathers.
Truth: According to the U.S. Department of Justice, nearly 2/3rds of confirmed cases of child abuse and of parental murders of children are committed by mothers, not fathers. A 1999 report by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services revealed that, adjusting for for the the greater number of single mothers, a child is five times more likely to be murdered by a single mother than by a single father, and that children are 88% more likely to be seriously injured from abuse or neglect by their mothers than by their fathers.
Local News Story Gets Attention
A recent article in the Las Vegas Review Journal titled “Girl Concocted Story of Domestic Violence” shows another example of how the Violence Against Women Act has permeated our culture. The laws enacted in the past several years were designed to protect women who are being abuse. In this story, which is by no means an isolated or an unusual abuse of the current system, the young girl falsely and all too easily accused her own father of having abused her. The police officer who went to protect her was killed. His police cruiser was crushed in a horrible accident just a mile and a half from the source of the phony call and the phony victim.
The girl had told police that her father had struck her and that she had a black eye and was bleeding. This girl, it was found out later, was the one who had, in fact, beaten her father, He was not at home when she called. He was on his way to pick up his wife who was being treated at the hospital for kidney failure. Earlier that day the girl had kicked him in the groin and then destroyed the parent’s apartment. The girl, when told about the death of the police officer, responded with a blink, said she was hungry, and asked for a doughnut.
Where did this young woman learn to make such calls? Who taught her that she could get her way or cause some one she was angry at to be falsely accused and even imprisoned. How did she know there was a whole system just waiting to be misused by her with a simple phone call. In this instance someone tragically died, but on a daily basis in Las Vegas false claims are made against men in similar_situations where no violence occurred at all.
Found Posted On The Internet
It should be the law! I was visiting a little place in Las Vegas, were a team of courageous and knowledgeable men, and one woman, helping ’soon to be’ divorced fathers going through custody issues. The place is a bit small and messy and at times seems to be somewhat chaotic, but with very little money that they make providing services that they do to help fathers and their children, (their work) is commendable, and they should be praised for what they do. The name of the place is E.R.D.F. (Equal Rights for Divorced Fathers). If you are going through any custody issues or a divorce and live in the Las Vegas area, I recommend that you go there and speak to Earnest (the founder and director ). He will help you get your motion(s) prepared and even provide names of various attorneys who will represent you in an unbundled capacity for under $600.00.
While I was in their office I noticed a Motion to Modify the current law on shared parenting in Nevada. It was and still is the same belief that I have been fighting for, and trying to open the eyes of every red blooded American who lives in this great nation of ours. I swear it’s like pulling teeth though. Something so simple, logical, and beneficial to the children of divorce is so very hard to change. Unfortunately that does not surprise me. The reason I’m not surprised is because it is all about greed and vengeance. These are the reasons the law doesn’t get passed. Here is what I read on the wall at E.R.D.F.:
IT SHOULD BE THE LAW!
NRS 125.460 State Policy shall be amended as follows: to ensure that minor children have frequent association and a continuing relationship with both parents after the parents have become separated or have dissolved their marriage, and there shall be a presumption in the court determination of child custody that joint physical custody responsibility shall be the best interests of the child. Upon request of one or both parents for joint physical custody, the court shall so order unless it finds compelling reasons to not award joint physical custody. If joint custody is not order, the court’s order shall include findings why joint physical custody is not in the best interests of the child. The burden of proof that such time-shared parenting would be detrimental to such child shall be upon the parent requesting sole custody.
Promotes true gender equality of sexes in the parenting of children and recognizes both parents as significant contributors to a child’s development. Significantly reduces conflicts in court as one parent does not feel like they are being treated as a visitor with there own children or a wallet or their former partner. The incentive to litigate is reduced as both parents will know that equal parenting will be awarded by the courts. Similar to no fault insurance, the out come is predictable. As a result families will suffer less financial hardship. Shared parenting will reduce the financial incentive for families to break up. Fights to get control over the children in order to get support payments is one of the largest single factors in custody battles today. Child access problems will be greatly reduced. When both parents know that they have a reasonable share in the lives of their children, there is little motivation to fight. the best way to make peace is to have a fair agreement. Shared parenting solutions will significantly reduce the abuse of the legal system through the use of false allegations against the other party.
Will it help to reduce the back log of court cases? Yes!
Will it help to reduce costs to taxpayers? Yes!
Will it result in less hardship to families in court? Yes!
Will it result in happier better adjusted children? Yes!
Does it represent the best interest of the child? Yes!
We as parents, both fathers and mothers, need to think what is best for our children and put animosity toward the other parent away, because in the long run, in our lives, as well as the lives of our children, it doesn’t help anyone, no one.
Someone needs to make that first step to fixing this epidemic of broken children. Until that day comes, there will be no justice for anyone, especially our children. This article was found posted by ” Daddy’s Tears” on the blog at equalrightsfordads.blogspot.com.
WE WANT AND APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT
Please submit any stories or letters to the editor to ERDF by mail to P.O. Box 1494 Las Vegas, Nevada 89125
OUR NEXT ISSUE
We will cover important local family court news and father’s rights issues incl.:
Keeping a Watchful Eye on the Court.
We give you report from attorneys and our fathers regarding the performance of judges in the Family Court.
When to Change Judges-Peremptory Challenge
How to handle Bogus TPOs And More!